Computers

[chiccomallo]

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.


At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, 

'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'

In  response to Bill ' s comments, General Motors issued a press  release stating:

If  GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........Twice a day.

2.. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car. 

3... Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light. 

I love the next one!!! 

7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying. 

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the  'Start' button to turn the engine off. 

PS - I 'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call ' customer service ' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!!!

[harry]

Allus Said  "They Ud come to nowt "

[harry]

Addenda ..
Window on the World.... View not too good ?

[harry]

CAW !  Always summat !
Computer playing all sorts of tricks.  Dates/Times --just name it !
Apparently, all due to a wee Battery on a Mother Board.
Where`s that ` B`  Hammer ?

[chiccomallo]

If its an internal problem on your PC Harry then i would recomend Colin at Antas hes good & cheap , his number is in the Reader

[harry]

Thanks  Chico.  Getting it fixed.
THINGS I Never Knew----When my Comp played up, REALLY  Strangely, I was told to chech the Date/Time....  This was the date I bought the thing,
I corrected things, and all went well, until Switch  Off/On , and all went  haywire again, Phoned Colin.. Antas , confirmed that wee Batt on Mother Board in Bovver, so fixing on Monday.   Apparently a quite common bit of Unhappiness, for Computer Owners.
Always SOMETHING !

[harry]

Computer  FIXED !  and while Colin at Antas had the back ,(or side ) off, he sorta serviced it, and put some extra `memory` in, as being a good thing.
  Very reasonable, and orft we jolly well go again, until there`s a puncture, or summat?
Tried for  some memory for mysel, f but ,  No Go, for  `Umans apparently , Pity !